Berlin Heart

On Wednesday Dahlia had an operation to give her a Berlin heart. It is a device which assists the heart with pumping, in order to keep extremely sick patients alive until they receive their new heart. We had to be at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. When got their Dahlia was awake with her eyes wide open. That was the most alert I had seen her since she was readmitted to the hospital. She stared at Brian and me for the longest time. It was good to look into those sweet eyes again and let her know we where there. There's a lot you can communicate just with the eyes, she was looking at me so intently, that I hoped she wasn't telling me goodbye. Finally at around 9:00 a.m. Dahlia was taken back for surgery. Each hour we were given updates on how the surgery was going. It went well but towards the end the Doctors were having problems controlling her bleeding and getting her stabilized. The surgery ended at around 7:30 p.m. and we were not allowed to see her until 10:30 p.m. When I finally got to see her it was a horrific site. She was lying there heavily sedated but her eyes were wide open. She had a huge cut down her chest, drainage tubes everywhere, and the Berlin Heart which is outside her body with blood pumping through it. Since then there has been ups and downs. I don't know if she will continue to stay and fight for her life or move on to a better place where she will once again be whole and happy. However, I have come to terms with either outcome and know that in the end everything will be okay.