The past couple of weeks Dahlia had been doing so good. She was able to be moved from the NICU to her own private room. We were able to spend the night in her room and rock her in the middle of the night whenever she wanted to be held. I am grateful for all the special moments I was able to spend with her; for all of the sweet smiles she gave me. She was doing so well that the doctors said she could come home. We were so excited to have her home for the holidays. We were able to bring her home this past Tuesday. I was exhausted and Brian took over baby duty that night. I wish I would have know that was to be our only night home with her; I would have slept with her in my arms. I wish I would have taken a quick family picture with her or taken a video of her. The next day Dahlia looked very pale and after I feed her she vomited. She was having trouble breathing and became lethargic. Brian rushed her back to Texas Children's Hospital. Her little heart just couldn't keep up anymore and she had to be put back on life support. It is heartbreaking that we can no longer hold and rock her. It is heartbreaking that she made so much progress and just when we thought we were out of the woods for a little while, she deteriorated before our eyes. It is heartbreaking that the only chance she has at living comes from another family's precious baby's death.
"Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order to be tested, we must sometimes face challenges and difficulties. At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel's end—no dawn to break the night's darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea 'Is there no balm in Gilead?' (Jeremiah 8:22). We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face."
Thomas S. Monson, "Looking Back and Moving Forward," Ensign, May 2008, 90
9 comments:
Thank you dear Emily for the beautiful quote from Present. Monsoon that I will refer to often during this heartbreaking trial.
This is beautiful writing, Emily. I am heartbroken for you. We will be praying for you and anxiously waiting for more good news. And, as always, call me anytime. Love you.
Beautifully written. She is adorable. So many things we do not understand in this life. Your faith and courage are inspiring. Know that there are many prayers being sent to heaven for your sweet little baby.
D&C 137:10
And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom of heaven.
I don't know you, but I am so very sorry for the pain you are feeling...and it's okay to hurt. I wrote this poem about grieving, and perhaps it will somehow help you:
www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/105/poem_91159573.html
Forrest Phelps-Cook
forrestcook@newwavecomm.net
we were so very sad to hear this. our thoughts and prayers are with dahlia and your family. love you.
We love you all and grieve with you. Sometimes I wonder if he gives us our will knowing it will be much harder than His will and yet His will must eventually become ours. She's just too precious, wonderful, brave and a little fighter. I'm so thankful she came into our family our own perfect little angel.
Thinking of you Emily. That breaks my heart to hear that about Dahlia. I was so happy to hear that you were bringing her home. Walter loves you too and is also praying for the baby. Dahlia is in our prayers.
Andy just caught me crying while reading your post. I'm so so sorry Emily. You and your family and especially your little girl are in our prayers. We love you so much.
Emily! I am so heartbroken by your news. Dahlia is so beautiful. Please know that there are many praying for her and your family. We are in Houston and Jared's school is very close to Texas Children's so if there is anything we can do for you while you are here, please don't hesitate to ask.
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